Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
