for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
