I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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