so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
