I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
