Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
