Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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