remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize