I want to stick my p in your. b.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize