i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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