I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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