Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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