i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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