I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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