He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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