getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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