He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
