I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
