You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's the barista slut.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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