Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
