Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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