I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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