Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ugly people sure do ruin things
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
