Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
