at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
