we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
