i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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