OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
