Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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