Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
