I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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