Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize