We're like a lot better than the average bears
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
