Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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