well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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