that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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