Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
