Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
