I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
