he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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