one two three fourrrrnication!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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