come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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