I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize