i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
