I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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