So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
