Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
