i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
