don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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