Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
