So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
