Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize