Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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