She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Panties = found
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
