An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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