You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
