so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize