So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pants are for mortals
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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